If an earring back is stuck in her ear and has sunk into the lobe, if the skin has grown over any part of it, or if the ear is swollen and painful around it, stop and take her to your pediatrician or an urgent care clinic. Don't pull, don't squeeze, and don't try to dig it out. If it's simply on too tight and the skin is intact, there are a few gentle things worth trying. Our safety promise covers how we design against this.
An earring back stuck in her ear: work out which situation you're in
Embedded. The back has sunk below the surface of the lobe, or skin has begun to close over it. The lobe may be swollen, hot, red or painful. You may not be able to see the back clearly at all.
This is a medical situation. It needs a doctor. Trying to remove it at home risks tearing the lobe and pushing bacteria deeper. Go and get it looked at.
Tight but visible. The back is on the surface, you can see it and grip it, and the lobe is intact and not badly swollen. It's just gripping the post hard.
That one you can usually manage yourself, carefully.
If you're unsure which you're looking at, treat it as the first one. There's no prize for being brave about this.
What to do if it's just tight
Wash your hands. Then work in good light, with her sitting still and comfortable.
Warm the ear. A warm, damp cloth held against the lobe for a couple of minutes softens the skin and slightly reduces swelling.
Support the front. Hold the front of the earring steady with one hand so the post doesn't drag through the piercing while you work on the back.
Grip the back flat, not from the sides. With a butterfly, hold the flat body of the back between finger and thumb rather than squeezing the arms together, which tightens it further.
Pull straight and slowly. Along the line of the post, not at an angle. Slow and steady beats a sharp tug.
If it doesn't move, stop. Repeated pulling swells the lobe, which makes the next attempt harder. Leave it, warm it again later, or get help.
Things to avoid: pliers, scissors, oil or lotion (which makes everything slippery and harder to grip), and forcing it while she's upset. None of those improve the odds.
When to see a doctor immediately
Don't wait if any of these apply.
- The back has sunk into the lobe or skin has grown over it
- The lobe is significantly swollen, hot or spreading red
- There's colored or persistent discharge
- The pain is worsening
- There's bleeding that doesn't settle
- She has a fever
- You've tried gently and it hasn't moved
Removal by a clinician is a routine procedure. It's a much smaller thing than what happens if an embedded back is left.
Why this happens
Three causes, in order of how often they're the culprit.
A back pushed on too far. By some margin the most common. A butterfly back should sit firmly, not tightly. Pushed hard onto the post it compresses the lobe, and compressed tissue swells. Swollen tissue closes around the back, which makes it tighter, which causes more swelling. That's the loop that ends in an embedded back.
Flat backs specifically. The flat disc sits flush against the lobe with no gap by design, so there's nothing to stop swelling drawing it inward. This is one of the reasons we don't use them.
Swelling from another cause. An irritated or reacting ear swells, and a back that was correctly fitted yesterday can be too tight today. That's why a sore ear is worth attending to rather than leaving.
Children's lobes are softer and thinner than adults', which is why this happens to them more.
How to stop it happening again
Leave a gap. After putting a back on, check you can see a small space between the back and the lobe. If there's an indentation in the skin when the earring comes out, it was too far on.
Check the fit weekly. Backs work their way further on with normal wear and handling, particularly if she adjusts them herself.
Deal with soreness early. A swollen lobe is what turns a tight back into an embedded one.
Choose a back that seats rather than grips. A post with notches means the back stops at a defined position instead of being pushed as far as it will go. That single design detail removes most of the risk.
Teach her the rule. Firm, not tight. Children push harder because they're worried about losing an earring, and losing an earring is the smaller problem.
What we do about it
This is one of the design decisions I get asked about least and think about most.
Our posts carry a double-notch system. The butterfly seats onto the notch at a defined position and tension rather than being pushed on until friction holds it. It's secure enough to stay on through a school day, adjustable enough for a child to manage herself, and it doesn't invite the over-tightening that starts the whole problem.
We use butterfly backs rather than flat backs. A butterfly leaves a small gap and the back of the lobe open, rather than sitting flush with a cavity against the skin. I've heard too many accounts of flat backs becoming embedded to want that design on a child's ear.
The backs are the same material as the earrings. On both ranges the setting, the post and the butterfly back all carry the same S316L Surgical Steel core, the same grade used in medical instruments and implants. Backs are commonly bought in from a different supplier, which is why so many brands can't tell you what theirs are made of. That matters here because a reacting, swelling ear is one of the routes to an embedded back in the first place.
And they were tested. I sent SGS the pieces with the largest surface area touching an ear and had the setting, the post and the butterfly back all tested, across eight pairs. Nickel release not detected under EN 1811. Tested to ASTM F2923 and CPSIA. Report BTO 341803/1.
You can see the range on the Polished Surgical Steel collection.
Questions parents ask next
Will the lobe be damaged? Removed promptly, usually not. That's the argument for going early rather than persisting at home.
Can she wear earrings again afterwards? Usually yes, once the lobe has healed, and your doctor will advise on timing. It's worth changing what caused it as well as fixing the result.
Is it my fault? No. Backs migrate further on with ordinary wear, children push them on themselves, and swelling can happen for reasons nobody controls.
Would silicone backs prevent it? They're softer, and they compress unevenly and hold moisture against the lobe. As a secondary stopper behind a metal back they're useful. As the only back, they bring their own problems.
How tight is right? You should see a small gap between the back and the ear, and the earring should be able to move very slightly. If it's flush against the skin, it's too far on.
If the backs are the problem rather than the earrings, the Butterfly Backs in 24K Pure Gold are sold in packs of five.
Related reading
- Are butterfly back earrings bad?
- Why do her earrings keep falling out?
- Can she wear her earrings in the shower or pool?
- Why her ears react to earrings, and what to do about it
About the author. Matt Westmore is the founder of purepixxi. He came to children's jewelry from manufacturing and sourcing rather than marketing, which means he has walked the factory floors and knows what is actually inside a product rather than what a label says about it. purepixxi uses two materials only, names them exactly, and has them independently tested.
